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HOUSE OF THE WEEK

ASK THE SEX EXPERT!


ASK FOX EXPERTS
 'LOVE, SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS'



TOP QUESTIONS THIS WEEK!



Question: "I am 29 years old and my partner is 25. I am very good with foreplay and oral sex. She loves to give me a blowjob and i enjoy it too. All is fine till she touches my penis and starts stroking it. However, I can’t hold my ejaculation for more than three-four strokes. It’s really embarrassing".

Reply:If you start and finish before she gets an orgasm, help her with foreplay and oral sex. See a sex expert to improve your timing and also start a high protein diet. You should also concentrate on going to the gym and working out. With good muscle tone of your body, your confidence in yourself will also improve.

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Question: "Hello, I have recently begun giving my boyfriend blow jobs.  He really loves it when I swallow, and I enjoy doing it for him.  However, I hate the taste so I always try to make sure that he cums in the back of my throat.  The problem is... when I do that, it tends to make me gag because I can't swallow it very well with his penis still in my mouth.  I have no idea how I can get the cum to go to the back of my throat, but also be able to swallow it without gagging. Any advice? Thank you!

Reply: I think the more correct thing to try for here is- how to get to the point that you don't mind the taste. If you're doing it even though you hate the taste, you'll never get good at it.
Next time, buy some flavoured sweet gum or use melted chocolate on his penis before you swallow.

.................................................................................................................................. Question: "I'm a 17 year old girl and I've been dating a guy for about 5 months now. we have talked about fingering and handjobs and have done them a couple of times and feel really comfortable with them. But is it okay? Is it normal? Especially at my age.  Thank you:) "

Reply: Well, I'm somewhat obligated to say that it is not okay because you're under legal age- but, i know you'll probably do it regardless, as many young people do today. 

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Question: "My boyfriend has started insisting on gagging blowjobs. I asked my friend and she said that her boyfriend makes her do this too. I am freaking out about it. She says a lot of guys want do that stuff because of porn videos. Is that true?  She says that it isn't "that" bad. How can choking not be bad? Not being able to breathe?"

Reply: Any guy who's got any sense would know to separate videos from reality, if they can't, they no good for you in the first place. There are girls that do those things, and there are some that don't, I think the majority is on your side here, so just cause your friend thinks it's okay, it's still up to you- the gag reflex goes away after practice....but the practices are rather painful in the beginning.

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Question: "I am 24 and my husband is 28. His penis size is 7 inches when erect and is very thick. He is an expert at oral sex. i reach 2 orgasms when he goes down on me and more orgasms during sex. A few days back, i discussed my sex life with my friend. Now she keeps begging that i should allow her to have sex with my husband, and i am very excited with the idea. But my husband bluntly refused..what do i do?"

Reply: Stop being stupid and keep your friend away from your husband or as i know from experience, you may have to deal with a broken relationship and may have to go around searching for another husband.
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Question: "I like to have intercourse but not as often as my boyfriend does.  It gets annoying when he asks almost everyday. I help him reach an orgasm by stroking his penis with my hand. Also when no one seems around, i give him a blowjob. I even swallow to make him happy.  I love him but I don't enjoy intercourse as much or as often as he does.  Can you find any solution? 

Reply: It is not at all unusual for males and females to have different needs for sex.  Most women seem to be OK with 2-3 times a week for sex, and many men, if they have the opportunity, will ask for sex every day.  It doesn't make much difference what the actual number is.  You seem to be getting all the sex you want, but you're annoyed when your boyfriend wants more than that.  
One solution would be to find a halfway point.  If you want sex three times a week and your boyfriend wants seven, maybe you could agree to four or five.  
If you absolutely don't want more sex than you desire (which is your perfect right, although it might be making your relationship rockier), then tell your boyfriend so.  If you are willing to satisfy him other than vaginally, you might perform oral or manual intercourse on him.  Maybe that will be enough.

................................................................................................................................................................... Question: "I am 21 and have a healthy sex life with my girlfriend, I have good erections. Although my girlfriend is amazing at Blowjobs, no matter how long or hard she tries, I can't seem to reach an orgasm. She says it's ok but I know it's frustrating for her as she is waiting to taste and swallow. How do i make it happen?

ReplyIt is quite possible that you two are just getting too stressed out over this- the more you think about it, the less likely you're going to achieve orgasm. Many women can't orgasm during intercourse, and so do many men can't orgasm during oral sex- and some men can't orgasm during sex at all. It's nature, it's how things are.  So relax, enjoy the feeling rather than worrying about the result.

................................................................................................................................................................... Question: "I am a 17-year-old boy and my girl friend is 15. I have been masturbating since the age of 14. We both enjoy watching porn. I want to have sex with my girlfriend, but I ejaculate the moment she holds my penis. She wants to lose her virginity, but I am unable to satisfy her. Should I use Viagra for my first session?"

Reply: I would advice you not to have sex as both of you are below age. Concentrate on your studies. Pick up some sport which keeps you physically occupied.

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Question:"I am 27 years old and I recently got married. My problem is I am not able to sustain my erection for more than 5 mins. Though my penis is very hard for those few mins and i can easily penetrate. My wife also remains unsatisfied. I am very depressed. On one hand, I can have sex, and on the other, I lose it very soon. I have been masturbating for the last 10 years. What should I do?"

Reply: Accept that at times this will happen. Generally, you are doing well. Increase the foreplay till your partner gets an orgasm. Maintain a high protein diet. Also workout regularly.

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Question:" I visited a massage parlour recently. The masseuse took off my clothes and handed me a pair of shorts to wear. During the massage, she pulled down my shorts and gave me a hand-job with her oily hands; I ejaculated within a minute. She offered to have sex with me but I refused. This is the first time I have allowed such a thing. I am scared I might contract HIV. Help!  


Reply: Since you did not have intercourse, you need not worry about HIV.
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Question: " I am a 21 year old beautiful girl engaged to my boyfriend.We have had a steady relationship for 3 years. Our marriage is scheduled next month. Last week i caught him and my elder sister having oral sex. My sister was sucking his penis like wild and he was enjoying it. I am very depressed since then. I don't know what to do. My boyfriend has apologised saying he was seduced by my sister. Please guide

ReplyI sympathize with you. I am not sure how trust worthy your boyfriend is. If you feel he loves you and will never betray you again, then do forgive him. As for your sister, i think you should give up on her. Tell your parents about it so that they can keep your sis in check.
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Question: "I am a 23 year old newly married woman. From the first night my husband hasn't been able to satisfy me. He lasts for 2 to 3 mins. His penis is just 4 inches when erect. Nor does he believe in making me wet by foreplay. I want to have sex for hours, i want to give him a great time in bed, but he hardly lasts. All my sex fantasies are broken. i am very depressed and frustated. Please advice."

Reply: My sympathies with you dear lady.Only option,i see is taking your husband to a counsellor, who would guide your husband about foreplay.Feed your husband with high protein diet and make him exercise for a good healthy body.
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Question: "I am a 18-year-old girl in a relationship with a guy who is 22. We have never had sex as I feel I am not mentally prepared for it and he is virgin too. A few days ago when we were intimate, i started stroking his penis. Later he even put his penis in my mouth and asked me to suck it. His penis secreted a transparent fluid. And sometime later he ejaculated in my mouth. What are the chances of me getting pregnant? What colour does the fluid have to be for it to contain sperms?"

Reply:The lubrication naturally occurs when a man is aroused. It rarely contains sperms. Learn more about spermatic fluid and other things from Google. Dont worry, you wont get pregnant by swallowing.

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Question: "I am 21 years old. For the past one week, I have been unable to get an erection. tried reading sex stories and watching porn but failed. My girlfriend tried giving me a blowjob, yet i remained soft. She is very worried and so am i. This has never happened before. I don’t smoke but drink occasionally. I am a vegetarian What’s wrong with me?"

Reply:Go for a general health check-up. Sometimes, such brief episodes do occur with males. Ensure you do regular exercise, eat a healthy diet and try to minimise your stress.

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Question: "I am a 18-year-old girl. My boyfriend and me have regular sex. He keeps me very happy with his tongue and his 6 inch penis. But when he goes out of town, I feel depressed, so I masturbate by  inserting a banana in my vagina. Is it safe? Can you suggest other object which can double-up as a sex toy?

Reply: It is safe if it has been cleaned and has a smooth surface. You have an inventive mind, so think for yourself. Maybe other vegetables and fruits can help.
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Question:  "I am a 19-year-old boy. I masturbate everyday by fantasising about my class teacher. She has good size breasts. Her butt is just perfect. I want to feel her below her clothes. I feel possessed by the thought of having sex with her. I think she knows that I have a crush on her. How do I tell her that I want her? Will it create a problem if I express myself?"


Reply: It is not rare at your age to fantasise about your teachers. Do not make the mistake of telling her. She will slap you or take you to the principal. Be satisfied with masturbation. This way you can fantasise about anyone you like without getting into trouble.
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Question: "I am 20 years old and my girlfriend is 16. We had oral sex 2 weeks back. I ejaculated into her mouth and she swallowed all of it. She even licked the cum that had dropped on her breasts. She has got so addicted to the taste, that she has oral sex with me everyday..Will this be injurious to our health? Will she get pregnant?"

Reply: No harm done, Dont worry — the sperms are destroyed by the stomach acid; the vaginal fluid is like saliva, so it is not dangerous. She won’t get pregnant. Though she is very young for all this.

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Question: "I am 22yrs old. My elder brother is 29 and he got married 8 mths back. His wife is very hot and has a sexy figure. I many a times think of her and masturbate. Last month my brother was out of town for 15 days and after dinner when i went to her room to say goodnight, she held my hand and spoke to me in a nice manner. I did not know what to make of it. last week, she was wearing a Tshirt without her bra. I could see her hard nipples. I am on the verge of losing myself. I think she wants me too. What should i do?

Reply: Stick to your masturbation. Keep away from her. You would not only ruin your Brother's life but also his trust in you.
................................................................................................................................................................... Question: "I’m a 27-year-old woman and my husband is 28.  We make love only two to three times a month because my husband is always tired. I try to seduce him with sexy lingerie and i try give him a blowjob, but he doesnt show interest. I’ve been suppressing my sexual desire for more than two years and now, it’s affecting me emotionally. I’ve discussed this with my husband but in vain.  When I masturbate, which I do rarely, I end up more troubled. Please help! 

Reply: Talk to him. Clear any problems that may exist between the two of you. Take him to a doctor for a physical check-up and address the issue of possible anxiety caused by work. Suggest early morning sex, instead of nightly sessions.

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Question: "I had sex with my girlfriend last month. But since then she is behaving strangely. She does not let go of my penis. In a restaurant too, she keeps her hand on my penis and strokes it. Any deserted place she sees when we go out for a drive, she wants to stop and give me a blowjob. And she does it even in a movie theatre. last week we went out in a car with another couple and she started in front of them. its embarrassing. Please help.

Reply: You should be one of those lucky guys. Dont worry. Things will calm down with time. Till then,enjoy yourself.
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Question: "I am a 27 year old married male. We have been married for two years and have a good sex life. But my wife does not play with my penis, nor is she interested in oral sex. I have tried talking to her about it but she changes the topic and never gives me any explanation either. This is turning me off at times. Moreover, due to the lack of this, we are not well lubricated while having intercourse. Can you please tell me how I can convince my partner for the same?

Reply: If she does not want it, that is it. You could try to clear any misconception by showing her some soft porn. Also ask her do it once in a way to oblige you.  There are many ways of achieving lubrication besides oral sex.
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Question: "I am a 21-year-old man. I get very excited with the thought of having sex with my fiancée. But she wants to have sex only after we get married. She does not satisfy me even by giving me a handjob. I am unable to control myself. My penis becomes hard and  so I masturbate. Please help."

Reply: She is right. Wait until you are married. Meanwhile, there is plenty of foreplay you can do together. Also, continue masturbating to relieve tension.

................................................................................................................................................................... Question: "I am a 16-year-old girl in a relationship with a 21-year-old guy. He rubbed his penis over my vagina using a condom. He did not penetrate and the condom did not give away either. To satisfy him, i gave him a blowjob and swallowed his cum. Are there chances of pregnancy? I did not consume any contraceptive pill later, due to my age. I am scared about the side-effects. Have I lost my virginity? What is the first sign of pregnancy? Could a chemist give me a urine pregnancy kit without a prescription?

Reply: It is very unlikely that you will get pregnant. In any case, the chemist will give you a pregnancy check kit. Please be careful for you are young. You must be sure you know what you are permitting from whom as well as the possible consequences. I suggest you wait till you turn 18.

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Question: "I am 25 and my girlfriend is 24. We are planning to get married within a year. We have been having sex since the last two years with a gap of 45 to 60 days. We don’t like to use a condom, but after having sex, she takes Ipill within 24 hours. Is this a safe practice? 

Reply: Since the interval of mating is far between your aversion against a condom (which would be the best) she can take an Ipill. It is effective, but fails at times.

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Question: "A few days ago, my partner and I lost our virginity. I know that I was a virgin until that day, but I am not sure about my girlfriend. My friend once told me when women have sex for the first time, they bleed from their vagina. My girlfriend didn’t. Does that mean that she wasn’t a virgin? She was in so much pain when I inserted my penis into her vagina that she started crying. I love her very much and I trust her. But I am distressed with what my friend shared with me. Is it necessary for women to bleed during their first time?

Reply: If the hymen is intact, she will experience pain when it splits. Your partner may have bled a drop or two, which you must have not noticed. Sometimes the hymen splits while playing a sport, or cycling, swimming, and horse riding. It also splits while masturbating. So, don’t worry and trust her.

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Question: "I’m 19 years old. My girlfriend and I have been together for four years. Although we have not had intercourse, she likes to stroke my penis. Yet I don't experience a proper erection. I used to smoke, but not anymore. I have quit masturbating too. All this is making me feel depressed. I’m afraid to get naked in front of my girlfriend. What pills must I take to cure this problem? We both have been going through mental stress lately. Could this be the reason?


Reply: Yes. It’s good that you have stopped smoking, but you can continue masturbating when you are sexually excited. If you get a proper erection with masturbation, then you don’t have a reason to worry.
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Question: " I am a 17-year-old boy. Last year, my parents were away, I fully exploited the time I had alone in watching porn and masturbating, at times even when I wasn’t really aroused. Before this incident, my erection used to be a lot better. Now I hardly get an erection even if I’m watching explicitly dirty scenes. I have read  that porn is causing a new kind of impotency among young males, that is the brain loses its ability to respond to sexual encounters. The solution given was that one must stop viewing porn completely. So for the last two months, I have shunned all sex-related activities, yet no improvement. Please help.

Reply: You have researched the problem thoroughly, so relax. If you were getting erections prior to your marathon porn adventure, you are physically normal and so you should get back to normal again. And Exercise daily to get back in good physical shape.Exercise will detoxify your system.

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Question: "My girlfriend and I are both 18-year-old virgins. Usually, we only kiss and I play with her breasts. A few weeks back,when she was stroking my penis, I ejaculated on the bed and her thighs, but we cleaned it off immediately. She had her panties on. So the semen didn’t touch her vagina. I also fingered her but there was no semen on my fingers. She even washed her vagina immediately after the act.  Her periods are due soon but we are worried. Can pregnancy occur a few days after the act?

Reply: No need to worry. But next time stick to the principle: 'Never without a Condom'. 

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Question: "I am 22 and my husband is 35yrs.We got married last month. We enjoy a great sex life and i love it when he comes in my mouth, but he insists on me taking pills so that he can ejaculate in my vagina..i get emotionally and physically disturbed by pills..What should i do?

Reply: Tell him that your body is not reacting well after pills.If he loves you, I am sure, he will oblige.Actually he should be more than happy to do what you like.
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Question: "I am a 27-year-old woman. Since last year, I have suddenly lost my sexual desire (I used to masturbate by inserting a vibrator, and enjoyed it before. I had multiple orgasms too). 2 months back, I got married, but am unable to get aroused and enjoy sex. I tried porn but it does not help. Have I become permanently frigid and unresponsive? Please help.

Reply: Please undergo a medical checkup to check if you have a hormonal imbalance. First think of what possible reasons could have lead to this. Have you been through some stress. Also begin a good nutritious diet. A doctor can help you by prescribing a general tonic

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Question: "I am 29 years old and my husband is 31. We enjoy a great sex life — we have sex daily even after five years of marriage. However, my husband doesn't perform oral sex on me, though he satisfies me during foreplay. He used to give me oral pleasure when we were newly married. I have spoken to him about this, but he smiles and ignores my concerns. I keep myself clean and hygienic. I want to get an orgasm through oral stimulation. What should I do to convince him?"

Reply:Bargain an exchange. Tell him that you could give him oral pleasure, and he to you.

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Question: "I am a 29-year-old married guy. My wife and I enjoy foreplay and I get a good erection. But as soon as I wear the condom, I lose my erection. I am unable to have sex with my wife. It has become very embarrassing for me.What do i do?"

Reply: You have developed a prejudice against the condom. The good news is that you can buy a condom which is ultrathin. Also, when you start foreplay, open the pack of the condom, keep it ready so that when she is aroused, you can slip it on immediately.

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Question: "I am 19 year old beautiful girl and a virgin. last week i saw my elder sister and her fiancee have sex in her room. She was maoning with pleasure. I saw his penis and was very big. Since then i havnt been able to sleep. I too want to have sex and i want my sister's fiancee. Should i tell him?  Will he agree or will he tell my sister?"

Reply: Listen girl.Get rid of that idea as soon as possible.You will not only loose your sister but also risk the end of her relationship.Find someone else or better wait for your prince charming.
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Question: I am a 25-year-old married woman. I think my husband is unhappy with our sex life as I have heard him complaining that my vagina has become loose.  I want to keep him happy. Is there anything I can do to tighten my vagina? Two years ago, I underwent an abortion. Is that why my vagina has lost its elasticity? If my vagina is tightened, will it hamper a normal delivery? 

Reply: Learn about Kegel exercises. Daily practice will tighten muscles around the vagina. This will not interfere with your delivery. Are you sure his penis is hard as before?

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Question: "I am a 26-year woman and I got married last year. Before my marriage, I had an affair with my sister's husband. It all started accidentally. There was no attraction between us to start with. However, we have become intimate with each other. This sexual intimacy continued for nearly three years. Then I got married but my husband has not been able to provide the sort of sexual fulfilment that I was getting from my boyfriend. He still keeps on visiting us or I go to his house to have sex on a regular basis. I keep wondering whether I should tell my husband about this affair or else continue with it discretely." 

Reply: Remember, there is a time and place for everything. If there was more in this affair for you than plain sexual gratification, I am sure you would have sought it out for yourself. . Get rid of preconceived notions or biases about the sexual act. There is no reason why your husband cannot be a better lover than he is now, if only you become a more willing participant. And that is only going to start when you stop making odious comparisons. The day your relationship comes out in the open, in all probability, there is going to be no sexual fulfilment, no boyfriend, no marriage and no husband. Concentrate on your marital relationship.

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Question:"I am a 22-year-old man and I am in a relationship with a married woman. We have sex once a month. My problem is that my penis is only five inches long. I want it to be bigger. Is there a way to increase its size? Also, during sex, I ejaculate within three minutes. How can I last longer?" 

Reply:I am afraid you will have to make peace with your penis size. Please see a sexpert who can advise you on premature ejaculation.

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Question:"I am a 58-year-old married man. I have two daughters, aged 29 and 20. Although I get normal erections, I don’t really feel the urge to have sex. I have intercourse with my wife only when we are taking a shower together. I think the testosterone level in my body has dipped. Please help me."

Reply: If you can have sex in the shower, you can have it anywhere. Ask your doctor to check your testosterone level, along with blood sugar. Also run a thyroid test.

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Question: "My wife has very small breasts. I have lost my sexual drive due to their size and I feel frustrated. Is there any way she can enlarge them without undergoing surgery? Also, what is breast implantation and how expensive is it?"


Reply:There is no way to enlarge breasts without surgical intervention. But I don’t understand why you have this baby complex. Foreplay can satisfy you in so many other ways. Also, before marriage, did large breasts figure in your list of demands or did you want to conduct a physical inspection of the same? If not, then be a gentleman and accept what she can give you, rather than you giving her an inferiority complex.
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Question:"I am a 25-year-old man. I have been masturbating for the last six years. I feel the size of my penis has become smaller, and the foreskin looser. I also have a strong gut feeling that that my partner is not happy with me, sexually. Our intercourse lasts for only five minutes. Please help me."

Reply:Look into the mirror and you will realise your penis is bigger than you think. Push back your pubic fat and you will discover more to it. If you are having intercourse for five minutes then you come within the world average of two to seven minutes.

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Question:"I am 25 years old and my wife is 23. She only gets an orgasm through oral sex, but intercourse does not give her any pleasure . While having sex, she only prefers the man on top position, for she says she experiences a pain in her lower abs if we assume any other position. Please advise."

Reply:Convince her for other positions like woman on top or approach her from the rear.
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Question:"I am 27 years old and my fiancée is 25 years old. We are getting married in two months. We chat daily and indulge in a few sexual chats where we visualise both of us having sex. Is this harmful? Will we lose interest when we are actually doing it in real life? Also, she experiences pain during her periods. Is this normal and will it get resolved after marriage?"Reply:Fantasy adds spice to life and it will not harm you now, nor in the future. Period pain does not cause problems in marriages. If the pain is unbearable, she should consult a gynaecologist.
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Question: "I am a 23-year-old guy. I love my girlfriend a lot. She allows me to touch and kiss all over her body. But she never satisfies me with oral sex and sex is a complete no-no. Whenever we indulde in foreplay, her excitement lasts only for five minutes after which she loses interest. What should I do?

Reply:Learn the art of foreplay so that she can have an orgasm within those five minutes. You could then persuade her after a fiveminute rest to give her a second orgasm. Be patient.

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Question:"I am 30-year-old married man. I enjoy sex with my wife. However, when I have it with other girls, I am a failure. I get excited and ejaculate even before penetrating. With my wife, I can easily have intercourse with her three times in a day. What do I do?"

Reply:Why get lured by the mirage of greener pastures when your wife can satisfy you? It is your guilt which is probably manifesting in a physical problem.

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Question: "I am a 25-year-old girl. I recently got married and my husband and I have got addicted to sex ever since and end up having sex for almost 3 times a day. It’s affecting our career and our other relationships. Please help".
Reply:Be patient. Enjoy these days bcoz they may not come again.Your body will send you a signal by lowering your libido when it has had enough. You can also shoo your husband away if you don’t want it.

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Question: "I am a 20 year old pretty girl,in love with my cousin.We are planning to get married soon against our parents wishes.Last week i got very high and let him remove my clothes.I wanted him badly but he ejaculated before he could enter.Last evening again the same thing happened.I am very drepressed.If this is how things would be then what do i do?"

Reply: If you really love him and want to settle down with him then you may have to take him to a specialist and seek medical help and counselling.If you dont want to take a risk then listen to your parents and marry the way they want.
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Question: "I am a 35-year-old married man. I need to have sex with my wife at least twice a day or I can’t sleep. If not, then I have to masturbate four times. But my wife cannot satisfy me. She refuses to have sex when I demand it. I feel as if I am raping her, because she does not react when we have sex. What does this say about our relationship? My penis is five inches long when erect. Is she normal or do I have a problem?"

Reply:Yes, you have a problem…one that makes you think only about yourself. Have you ever tried to understand your wife’s feelings? If you cannot sleep, ask the doctor for a pill. Also, why do you have to masturbate four times before going to bed? This needs to be checked. See a sexologist.

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Question: "I’m a 23-year-old man and will be getting married soon. Do dry fruits boost sexual performance? If yes, which ones? They are nutritious."
Reply:They are nutritious and boost energy. Eat a mix and hope for the best. Give them to your wife also; she might surprise you.

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Question: "I got married in 2006. I’m 30 years old and my wife is 26. We’ve a two-and-a-half year old son. My sex life was rocking till his birth. But after the delivery, she totally lost interest in sex. Earlier, we used to have sex every alternate day but now the frequency has been reduced to once in a month or six weeks — and that too only after I force or request her to. I know she  loves me. She also refuses to try out any different positions. She likes it when I perform oral sex on her, but when I ask her to do the same she refuses. We both read your column daily. She is ready to consult a doctor, but I have no idea whom to speak to so please recommend a good ladies’ doctor who can solve our problem?"
Reply:Often a woman experiences such a problem after delivery. Please ask her to consult her 
gynaecologist. Be patient, she will improve in a few months.

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